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Forty-one Reasons I Would Say “I Do” Again – Even in 2020



(This one's for the man who tolerates me year after year and acts like it's his greatest delight. Rice, thank you for all the love and laughs. This one's for you.)


Oh, 2020, you just keep on giving, don’t you? At the international level, you’ve given us COVID. Here in the States, you’ve laced that with social unrest and economic woes. In Georgia, everyone’s supposed to determine their own rules to beat the pandemic. Or at least interpret the rules their own way.


In a way, it seems wrong to write light and fluffy when the world is a mess. But here’s the thing: It’s July, and that’s what I do. I take the month to dedicate a post to Rice, the one I said “I Do” to forty-one years ago this month.


That’s a bit of awhile, no? It’s been a good journey for sure, but I’m not gonna lie. The road has had its share of potholes, 2020 being a big one. This was supposed to be our year, the year we both retired. The year we started to travel and really live. Instead, 2020 holds us captive. We’re unsure of how to navigate this new normal. And we’re ticked at each other that we can’t agree on what this new normal should even look like.


I confess, in some ways I'm making light, focusing on first-world problems. I realize the seriousness of the virus and health disparities, job loss and hungry children, subsequent evictions and foreclosures. I know that some relationships won’t survive this pandemic.


Still, the toughest days beg a question: Would I say “I Do” again if I had it to do over? Even in 2020?


My answer? Yes.




Here are 41 reasons I’d say yes again, in no particular order, just one for each year we’ve been married.


Who else could make me feel so...


  • understood

  • loved

  • funny

  • important

  • attractive

  • valued

  • joyful

  • intelligent

  • nurtured

  • spoiled

  • like my voice matters

  • like I’m a better wife, mom and gram than I probably am

  • like there’s more good than bad in me




Who else could tolerate...


  • my cussing

  • my superior skills at Scrabble

  • my obsession with crime shows

  • my love affair with the water

  • my horrendous sense of direction

  • my inability to remember events in history

  • my incapability to tell a story in a linear fashion

  • my lack of love for sports, documentaries, and museums

  • my failure to appreciate his finely honed micromanagement skills

  • my sense of curiosity about why he sorts the laundry the way he does

  • my (and everyone else’s) inability to hold back the groans over his puns

  • my call to write, even when it requires hours of isolation (for him as well as me)

  • my inability to be anyone but myself




Who else could’ve taught me that...

  • kindness is not a weakness

  • old dogs can learn new tricks

  • old dogs need to stretch more before attempting new tricks

  • we should never talk about money when we’ve been drinking

  • staying open-minded is a gift...to myself as well as to others

  • we can have disagreements without getting ugly

  • taking each other for granted is not acceptable

  • forgiveness is one of the highest forms of love

  • travel is fun (sort of...except for the flying part)

  • learning new things together can be fun

  • wealth isn’t what I used to think it was

  • I should speak up if something matters

  • keeping the faith is everything

Mostly, though, here’s why I would say “I Do” to Rice again:


He. Gets. Me.


Trust me, that’s no small thing.


So Riceman, here’s to us. May God continue to bless our love, and may I write about it again in July 2021.


Cheers – J


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